We have all heard of mediation in high stakes negotiations. But can the mediation model be used to help couples in marriage? Can mediation save and enhance relationships that are so close and personal?
Find out in this article as we explain what marriage mediation is and how it can help you.
What is Marriage Mediation?
by Mordechai Rhine
“You are driving a bus,” the entertainer began.
I was sitting at a birthday party to which I had carpooled my son and some classmates. The entertainer was trying to include both children and their parents with a conversational riddle.
He continued. “At the first stop 3 children get on. At the second stop 2 more get on, but one gets off. At the next stop a grandma gets on with two children, a boy and a girl. At the next stop 2 children get off but 4 get on. At the next stop the Grandma gets off but only takes the boy with her.”
The entertainer paused dramatically and then asked, “Who is driving the bus?”
I smiled at the cleverness of the riddle. There was so much information given that one could easily lose track of the opening statement, “You are driving a bus.”
In marriage as well, there are so many things happening that it is easy to lose track of the need for us to drive the bus. The fairy tale books end off that the young couple “lived happily ever after.” But in the real world there is a lot going on.
Marriage can be compared to driving a car on a highway. When things are going smoothly it is blissfully energizing, moving forward, smoothly, together towards your destination. But sometimes it happens that drivers slip a bit out of the lane. It could take a bit of effort to get the car back into the lane.
Just as a car needs to be fueled up periodically, so a couple might realize that they have been coasting on earlier emotional investment, but now need to fuel up again. Fueling up might be as simple as date nights and giving affirmations and compliments. But often, it may require a facilitated conversation to address issues that may have been ignored over the years. Together, we want to make sure that you and your spouse are driving together with mutual respect and admiration.
What is so wonderful about marriage mediation is that it is based on self-determination—it puts each spouse in a driver’s seat. Husband and wife both get to hear and be heard and direct the conversation with sensitivity and curiosity. The focus is to rebuild the US of the marriage. Regardless of what you are experiencing, with a bit of understanding, implementing a few adjustments can make an enormous difference. Even if a relationship has started to see some disagreeable sarcasm, choosing to change lanes on the highway can make all the difference to make the home a place of harmony.
CARE-Mediation is a mediation practice that specializes in marriage mediation. We offer in-person meetings (based in Baltimore, MD) as well as sessions nationwide over Zoom. Mediation is a confidential process which can help you and your loved one to better understand each other. Open your door to a few sessions of facilitated conversation and open your door to a lifetime of love together.
Contact us for a free consultation at 908-770-9072 or firstname.lastname@example.org.